Gimme a break.

Hello~

This is me, at this very moment.

Well, not really. I have friends I can talk to. Namely Kryptonite and Dimz-u.

But basically, my parents have this need to put me down. And I really, really can't get over it.

I'd like to think that I have thick skin, y'know. When other people give me shit, I really don't care. I brush it off with a smile, and get on with my life, y'know? But when my parents do it, I just fall apart. It's not my fault I suck at certain things, I... just can't do everything.

Like today, I wasn't able to fiddle with the screw properly to build a certain thing, and my dad just shat on me. He said that this task was simple, so if I couldn't do this, there's no point to me, I'll fail at everything else.

Then later, I was cooking. Or... helping... yeah. And it was my fault this time. I kinda didn't cook the right thing. I was supposed to soak the beef bones in the soup, but I put the chicken in instead. I don't even know why, it was the only thing I saw I guess, so I just assumed my dad mistook himself. Then yeah, he told me the same speech again.

Then, when my sister came over, he kept saying that I wouldn't succeed in school, and that I play too many video games. At this point though, all the pain just numbed, and I didn't even react. I just went about my business and left the room.

I really feel like moving out, but I know it isn't wise. And, to be honest, I know my parents love me. But they don't really show it, except for paying for my schooling, which they can stop doing, so...

But iunno, money isn't love. If you want to show you love someone, talk to them (not in the way above), show them concern, joke around with them... but constantly giving them shit isn't going to help.

Kryptonite told me that parents do this when they expect a lot from you, but I feel like I'm going to break. I feel like crawling into a hole and just staying there. I don't wanna hear anything, I just want to be... away from them.

I suppose I could just be a better person overall, it'll get them off my back. But then, would I really be happy? They don't approve of the things I like, they don't approve of my career choices, they don't... I don't even know anymore. They don't even like my voice, they told me to keep it at a lower tone, since they believe I'm faking it to be cute.

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm just tired. Thanks for reading. :)

Alice Lieberg