Tuesday, January 12, 2016

New Year's Resolutions! :D

Hey guys~


It might be a bit late for this, but I'm making New Year's Resolutions, because I can somewhat? see what I'm aiming for x)

1. I want to maintain a pretty active YouTube channel.

So as some of you might know, I used to have a somewhat popular YouTube video, since I subbed things for the community. It was nice, and I liked having fans of my somewhat average work, but I wanted something more, so I went and made a new channel; Goddammit Jueun. :D

It features games, but from time to time, I will definitely put random stuff, like what happens... in my life. Yeah. If you want, you can check it out, and hopefully, you'll subscribe? :D

My new YouTube channel :)


2. I want to get good grades. 

Well, this is just a goal for me. I want to secure a future for myself. I left my college and BOOM, I'm in uni :')

I left my science degree behind, still have a diploma though x). I really wanted a fresh start, and I'm going to try to get that in uni :)


3. I want to be my old self again. 

This is weird to say but, I feel like I've changed. For the worst. Go to the bottom of the section if you don't want to read.

Over in 2015, things started changing a lot, and that involved my social life, my personal life, and my school life. I wasn't doing so well in school, and I lost some of my friends, and I find it harder to trust them now, even when I love them, and this has to do with my personal life, at home. I've wrote about it many times in my blog, but last year, I felt like my family wasn't at my side basically. At first, they were just frustrated at me, so I went to my friends where I felt safe. Then, when I thought they'd be happy with me (I got a job, the thing they were always bugging me about), they got really mad at me all the time, and I wasn't like... okay at the time? I had so much work, I had four science classes, and my job gave me so many hours too, that I wanted to quit (~25 hours a week). However, when I told my family about my situation, none of them really comforted me? It was always: "You're lazy" or "Talk to them and they'll change your hours". But I wasn't really playing games at the time, and the classes I were taking weren't exactly easy, and work wasn't letting me have shorter hours. So I spent my days, trying to pass, while getting screamed at all the time. And that stress got to me eventually, and I cried. For a very long time.

My family was also telling me things at the time, since I did TRY to go to them for help, but like I said, I got yelled at. And they were telling me things like: "Your friends might be making you feel better, but life just sucks, so you shouldn't trust them. We're your family." So I cried more. Nowadays, I just feel as though my life got like... I don't know. If I start remembering the not so long ago past, I cry. Many times a day. Strangers keep asking me if I'm alright XD

What's worse is that, I don't really feel confident in myself anymore. I hate my body, I hate my brain... I don't feel confident about myself anymore. I just feel like my family only knew how to attack me, rather than comfort me, so... I don't know what else to say I guess. x)

TL;DR: I want to be a more confident person like the person I used to be.

4. I WANT TO MAKE 10K.

Okay, this one is SO unlikely, but a goal is a goal right?

I want to save money for many things, such as schooling, and being able to move out when I can I guess. And money's nice to have, to... spend... I guess XD

5. Fully functioning relationship?

Well, I have my LOVELY LOVELY boyfriend, I want to make that last I guess <3

But I also have my normal friends. And omg, it is TOO HARD, to stay in contact with everyone you like I feel. ._.

--

LET'S DO THIS. I AIN'T SCARED OF 2K16.




Alice Lieberg


 

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