My blog is a little less private now XD

Hello again~

((I remember this anime, omg, I love her, she's so stupid XD))

Well, recently I revealed my blog on Facebook, since I had one post in particular I needed to show certain people. Well, they didn't exactly react fabulously, but I did get to talk to them, so that's nice. Anywho, I'll probably feel weird writing on here for a while, but it's my personal blog anyways XD

I just want to make a disclaimer, I'm starting to try to mend things with my family, but paths are never straight lines, and this one isn't either. ANYWHO, MY LIFE IS A BIT BORING, SO LET'S MOVE ON :D

As some of you may know, I'm in Uni now :D

Uni is an experience to behold. To be very honest, unless it's a core class of mine, it bores me immensely. I made one friend though, she's really nice (AND SOMEHOW SHE LIKES ANIME AND LEAGUE, I THINK I HIT A GOLDMINE :DDDD). But anyways, there's a lot of freedom at Uni, and I mean a lot ._.

Teachers give less of a sh*t if you show up or nah, hell, in my Cal 3 class, only half shows up. I get why though, the teacher sucks so much LOL. He teaches math on a Powerpoint, likeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, k. But my breaks coincide less and less with my friends breaks, I end up visiting my college a lot, since most of my buddies still there lol. Classes are a lot bigger, which stress me out a lot. I can't be in a room with a lot of people sometimes :S

Drama recently occurred though ._.
And to be honest, when people told me about it, I was praying to the GODS ABOVE that I wouldn't be involved, but hey, THERE I WAS.

Gosh golly, yesterday was one hell of a shitstorm XD

I was one my period, so I mostly lay in bed all day. Anywho, this all started with my friends telling me about an event occurring on Snapchat, and GOD, THE DRAMA WAS ALREADY THERE.

Then a few friends were telling me how this all started, and I was like... rip. I knew that my friends and I got over it, so we thought it was over. I guess not, 'cause yesterday was rip ._.

Strawberry was told by Peach she caught her dissing her. I'd like to let you all know that Strawberry probably didn't expect this to happen, nor does she nor I need drama right now. I have exams every week, assignments, and she's pretty busy too. She thought she solved the problem, but lots of my friends got private messages, including me. I have to say though, there was a huge block of text, probably stuff I didn't agree on, but whatever. Peach had to get it out of her. :/

I honestly though. Most of us, or all of us even, got over it long ago. Why we would still talk about it? Iunno, if someone asks me, I'm going to tell them, and I'm perfectly allowed to do so. But I don't even like talking about it that much because it's a boring topic, that's only drama imo. So I only say stuff like, things happened, and we ain't friends anymore. That's that. Like gosh golly, This happened a year ago, it's like a relic of the past now ._.

I remember the wrongdoings that happened on both ends, but seriously, I could give less of a sh*t now. I just don't like it being brought up ._.

Oh, and Peach also talked about having different cliques, but like, we were a giant group of 30-50 depending on the event, it's normal for "cliques" to form. We just... have people we like more, sh*t happens ._.

But anyways, it's another thing of the past. Hopefully this is the last I hear of this, this is like... crying over spilled milk. I don't think anyone who's been with me, supporting me cares anymore. We both lost things at that time, but the thing is, this is how people evolve. If no one goes through hardships, we won't learn from them.

So Peach, if you're reading this, I'll let you know, no one wants to see you sad or hurt anymore. We honestly don't care about the things that happened anymore, but don't be too sad if some of us don't feel comfortable around you, or if we don't want to be friends anymore. You already have wonderful people surrounding you, at your side. It's not about quantity, it's about quality.

SO GUYS, WHEN MY EXAMS ARE OVER, OR WHEN I GIVE LESS OF A SH*T ABOUT SCHOOL, IMMA SING UNPROFESSIONALLY AND POST IT HERE. TOODLES.

Alice Lieberg

I'm sad and hateful, what do you want me to say?

Hello~

I don't really feel like this, but I have considered how life would be without me, and frankly, not much would change. That's just how insignificant one's person's life is. But, I do know that I don't wanna kill myself, I'm scared of death and things will get better eventually. People wouldn't stay sad forever, people live, and they move on.

Recently though, by recently, I mean really recently, things have gone wrong, a bit. I don't really feel at home anymore.

I went out with my sisters the other day, one thing after another happened, and eventually I talked about our parents a bit. One statement, but that brought the biggest shitstorm, and I probably should have never said it. There was a period of time where my parents forgot to leave food behind for me, or thought I would just eat out that day, so there was no food at home, and I ended up eating ramen everyday. Yay~ Healthy eating :D

Well, at the time, maybe I was mad at my parents, but people forget. Plus, I am older now, so I know I can cook food, but I lazy af. ._.

Plus I was at my last semester in college, and I really wanted to pass at the time, since I wanted to move on with my life. But things weren't going well back then, anywhere. I had to spend a lot of time on the computer, since a lot of stuff is online these days, and I spent a lot less time gaming, since my new job took a lot of my time, and studying became a priority to me.

Anyways, when I said that, a shitstorm happened, and frankly, I don't think I should be yelled at for something like that. Let's be real. People forget, and all my sisters are barely at home, or they moved out. So, they couldn't have known. But I got yelled at, a lot. They were saying how parents don't just forget to do that, another person said that my parents are trying to be nicer and I haven't acknowledged that yet, but to be honest, I have.

I'm just not used to it, you know what, my parents weren't the only shitty thing in my life at that time. Everything was, including you guys. I wanted to say that, but I shouldn't always let my emotions get the better of me. But every time I feel like things are getting better, they get worse. And I'm this weak-ass piece of f*ck now, so I cry really often.

Today, I think my sister was still mad at me, but I try not to say anything when people are mad at me, iunno, it just makes things worse most of the time, but I think no matter what I did, things would get worse. She got me McDonalds, and umm... I'm not the best at talking, especially when I know someone is mad at me. I should've said something, now it's way too late, but anyways.

Recap, I asked for a trio, and I wanted to eat it tomorrow, so she said she brought the food, and I didn't say anything, so she got... madder. I started feeling bad, so I tried to eat my food, and I ate the burger, but not the fries, and angrily, and since I'm planning to show this on my Facebook, yes, you said it angrily, and I'll confess now since I suck at talking, I should've said something, but I was scared of getting yelled at more. (I just made it worse though)

So anyways, now I feel really full, and super sad. She started assuming stuff, and saying how I shouldn't just blame her, and you know what, I wasn't. I wasn't saying anything. That causes people to assume stuff, but people shouldn't assume stuff.

Today, as I left my house to get some time for myself, I was thinking how if I ran away, without telling anyone, meaning boyfriend or friends or family, I could live for a week... or more. Maybe a few days. I was... I'm just so tired. I'm back though, 'cause school is important for me if my final answer ten years later is to not look back at my family, or just for my future in general.

I don't feel like safe around some of the people who used to keep me safe, my sisters, and I don't feel safe around the people I was wary around. And I can't just turn to my friends, and drag them into this. I don't know what to do with myself. I wanted to be a cheerful person again, but I f*cking suck at this. I should talk more, but I'm scared of saying anything anymore.

I'm scared that if I keep talking to my friends, they'll get tired of my shit. I'm scared of talking to my own family, for various reasons. I'm scared of talking to my boyfriend, because I know he's busy, and what if he gets annoyed too? He did once when he was stressed :( I don't lie about my own life, unless I was like... young or something.

My birthday is coming up soon, that's pretty cool though. I really want an ice cream cake, so that be really nice. If I don't get one, I'll buy one and share it with a few people :)

I'd like to thank my friends for being there for me though. When I cried on Skype, I'm not sure how annoyed they were, but I'm grateful that they were trying to cheer me up at the time (for the people reading this, it was a while ago). And no matter what you guys think, I'm happy you're trying to be nice to me again, meaning my family. Or just trying to make sure I see it more, I just suck at expressing myself, and I don't know how, and I've always felt awkward around you guys. Now, even more so.

I'm super full now, and I'm gonna go shower since I should, so bye~

Alice Lieberg